Understanding Fear

 

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Marie Curie / physicist, chemist, Nobel Prize winner / 1867–1934

​

There are many challenges to overcome in life, but one of the greatest for each of us is contending with fear. Fear is typically defined as negative thoughts and feelings that arise due to a perceived threat, such as danger, pain, or discomfort. Although far from appealing, it’s a natural part of life. At times, fear is warranted, and it spurs action that will improve your situation. If you find yourself swimming in the ocean and encounter a large predatory shark, for example, then the instinctual fear experienced would clearly be a valid signal of danger, similar to the fight-or-flight decision that would inevitably come to mind. More often than not, however, we experience unfounded fear due to improper interpretations of things or events, which can cause us to feel anxious, think negatively, and act inappropriately and even irresponsibly. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in the illusions associated with such unfounded fear, then that can lead us down a difficult path that often involves adversity, stress, and pain. Unfortunately, that’s quite common, and as such, most stress is self-induced. The good news is that we can learn to manage fear as well as the resulting stress, and in some cases, we can even prevent one or both from arising. Carl Jung, the renowned Swiss psychiatrist who founded analytical psychology, once stated, “Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.” The key is to interpret difficulties as challenges and to approach them in a positive manner.

 

INFLUENCES OF THE EGO

​

As discussed, fear is comprised of negative thoughts and feelings that stem from a perceived threat. Many threats, however, are misperceptions that arise due to the influence from one’s sense of personal identity, often termed the ego, which is a Latin word translated as “I, myself.” The ongoing development of the ego is an important aspect of one’s being because it’s needed to survive, establish individuality, build self-confidence, and conform to society. Nevertheless, a person needs to move beyond the confines of the ego in order to expand awareness and evolve. The ego is a natural aspect of the human psyche, and it serves as a useful tool throughout life, but if left unchecked, it can lead one astray. It’s a reactive entity whose primary focus is survival of the self. It also has the tendency to simply seek pleasure and avoid pain. On the surface, that may seem harmless enough, but such pursuits can be shortsighted and cloud one’s judgment. Granted, the survival instinct is required to address basic needs; however, once those needs are met, a continued focus on one’s self can lead to materialism, selfishness, and antagonistic competition. Such focus often does more harm than good. It can also cause one to neglect responsibility and look to others for blame or approval, which in turn inhibits one’s own personal power and leads to the spread of fear and confusion.
 

It’s important to note that the ego is focused on its self as an independent entity, and it’s constantly requiring a response. This need for a response leads to the creation of unfounded fears, which in turn support the illusion that we are alone, victims in a dog-eat-dog kind of world. Realistically, we’re all in this together. We’re all human, each comprised of the same energy, sharing the same world, and developing in a similar manner. Whether we like it or not, we have a significant influence on one another, and we’re each affected by the influences of society. These commonalities bind us together in numerous ways. When the ego is threatened, it can cause one to unconsciously employ defense mechanisms as defined by the renowned neurologist and psychiatrist Sigmund Freud and further conceptualized by his daughter, Anna. Many defense mechanisms have been identified, but the following list includes those more commonly recognized:

 

• Denial.  Refusal to accept or acknowledge an unpleasant truth.

• Displacement. Redirection of emotion from a dangerous behavior to a safer outlet.

• Intellectualization. The focus on rationale or the facts of a situation to avoid anxiety.

• Projection. Attribution of unwanted thoughts or emotions onto someone or something else.

• Rationalization. Logical justification for a decision arrived at through a different mental process.

• Reaction formation. Conversion of desires dangerous to the ego into their opposites.

• Regression. Return to a previous stage of development when faced with undesirable impulses.

• Repression. Unconscious oppression of thoughts considered painful or dangerous to the ego.

• Sublimation. The focus of negative thoughts or impulses to more positive outlets or behaviors.

• Suppression. The conscious oppression of painful or threatening thoughts.

 

Even humor can serve as a defense. Defense mechanisms of the ego can be healthy and even essential at times, but they must be kept in check. Such reactions typically signify the existence of anxiety, which, if not addressed in a proper manner, can have an adverse effect on both your reality and your health. Because they often arise due to stress, these behaviors can be used as signs to allow you to recognize the fear that exists and then identify the perceived threat. Once that threat becomes clear, you can take defined steps to manage anxiety, change your perception, and contend with the challenge that lies before you. Because fear stems from ignorance, begin by educating yourself on the issue at hand. Education is an essential tool to contend with fear, but that alone is often insufficient to overcome it. Important complements to education include action and experience, through which we can realize what we’ve learned. One useful way to overcome an unfounded fear, for example, is to face it in a proper manner. Knowledge is power because it allows you to gain understanding, see through the illusions created by fear, and deal with the difficulties before you in a constructive way. If you supplement that knowledge with proper action and experience, then it will lead to greater realization and you’ll be able to make the most of your situation and benefit accordingly.

​

Recognizing Fear

​

Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.

Napoleon Hill / author, lecturer, journalist, attorney / 1928–1970

​

Fear is similar to the element of fire in many respects. Both can be dangerous and destructive; however, at times, they can serve as extremely useful tools. They are both natural aspects of life with which we must contend. In addition, fear is exacerbated by a focus on negativity, similar to the way in which fire feeds on oxygen. As anxiety surfaces within you, negative thoughts or actions will fuel the fire of fear. If you do away with negativity, then you can extinguish your fear. Just as there are numerous ways to fight a raging fire, multiple methodologies exist to contend with anxiety. Before employing such strategies and tactics, however, it’s important to recognize fear when it does arise. Clear signs of fear include negative thoughts and feelings. Negative emotions, which typically follow negative thoughts, can be considered the faces of fear. There are also different degrees of emotional states; for example, despair and depression are heightened states of sadness. Also, most emotions can be described by synonymous emotions, and they typically fall into one of two categories—namely, the faces of fear or the aspects of love. To help gain a better understanding of various emotional states of being, we can list them, group them, and identify their opposites:

 

FACES OF FEAR                                               ASPECTS OF LOVE

Anxiety, insecurity, terror                                    Serenity, confidence, courage

Apathy, indifference, boredom                            Caring, compassion, interest

Doubt                                                                  Conviction

Sadness, glumness, despair                               Happiness, amusement, elation

Remorse, regret                                                  Peace, gratitude

Guilt, shame, embarrassment                             Innocence, virtue, worthiness

Arrogance, condescension                                 Modesty, respect

Anger, frustration, impatience                             Forgiveness, satisfaction, patience

Hate, contempt, meanness                                 Acceptance, empathy, kindness

Greed                                                                  Contentment

Jealousy, envy                                                     Appreciation, generosity

Attachment                                                          Detachment

 

If you tune in to your feelings, then you can come to recognize the different faces of fear when they arise. You can then reflect on those feelings in order to trace them back to the negative thoughts from which they stemmed, which should help identify the perceived threat that lies before you. Once you understand the threat, you can then interpret it in a more constructive manner and take various actions to overcome it or cope with it. At times, fear can emanate from the fact that a situation doesn’t meet your expectations. It’s important to realize this when it occurs and to strive to release expectations moving ahead. That’s easier said than done, but little good comes from basing life on expectations. An expectation is a form of judgment, and judgment often stems from fear. An expectation has even been termed a premeditated resentment, which brings to light its inherent danger. If you’re expecting an unfavorable outcome and you become consumed with negative thoughts, then you might actually aid in creating the very result you were hoping to avoid. You will likely interpret events negatively as well, which will also mar your reality.
 

Even if you have a positive expectation, actual events might not measure up, and you will likely lack appreciation for all that occurs. You may inadvertently overlook opportunities that exist in that case as well. It can be helpful to use any initial expectations to prepare for a challenge that might lie ahead. In fact, knowledge and preparation can address many problems before they even arise. However, once you prepare, then it’s wise to release expectations and hope for the best. A positive, confident outlook will serve you most effectively. In essence, an ideal approach to life is to prepare for the worst, hope for the best, release expectations, and then interpret things positively, no matter how they unfold. If you perceive a threat, then take steps to manage the resulting stress, change your perception, and contend with the challenge that life has presented. Once you have a handle on the situation, also watch for opportunity, as that often accompanies most any change.

​

Managing Fear

​

Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson / writer, minister / 1803–1882

​

You create your own reality through interpretation and outlook. Granted, your perceptions are influenced by your personality, past experiences, and current circumstances; however, those perceptions are ultimately defined by your choices. How you choose to interpret something or someone, including yourself, will shape your reality. Simply viewing a difficult situation as a challenge as opposed to a threat can make a tremendous difference in how it affects you physically, mentally, and emotionally, and it also dictates how you respond. It’s not always easy to interpret things positively, but you can start by noting that things are neither good nor bad; rather, our interpretations lead to perceptions of good and bad. We have basic instincts that come into play whenever we feel threatened. Whether being attacked physically by a wild animal, for example, or attacked verbally by another individual, the mind and body will react. In addition, we’ve all been conditioned over time by our interpretations as well as by other people, such as parents, siblings, friends, enemies, teachers, and those in the media, for example. Certain conditioning is beneficial, such as the need to be cautious around strangers considering there are predators about; however, other conditioning is misguided and can lead to unwanted beliefs or behaviors. When messages are communicated, they are often tainted by the interpretations and fears of others, so it’s important to gauge the validity of everything you see or hear. Also, repeated communication of a particular message over time can affect your beliefs or behaviors. Because of this, it’s helpful to review your beliefs and behaviors on a regular basis in order to determine if they’re based on fear and past conditioning or on truth, certainty, and principles that you value.
 

One always has a choice in life, and that ability to choose has a powerful influence on reality. We make numerous choices each and every day, some of which are conscious and others unconscious. We each choose things, such as our line of work, the place we reside, the manner in which we care for ourselves, and the words we speak, for example. We also make subtle choices that are less apparent, such as the judgment we pass on others, the thoughts we dwell on, how we interpret life events, and whether we’re happy in any given moment. Although we each must contend with past conditioning, current challenges, and negativity or fears that arise regularly, we each have the ability to choose our own quality of life. No matter what adversity you face, you can manipulate your perceptions such that you gain accordingly. Again, the key is to interpret difficulties as challenges and to approach them in a positive manner. Because you have free will, you can choose to perceive adversity as a challenge instead of as a threat. Doing so will improve your mind-set and reality.
 

On a similar note, you can also choose to think positively, see the good in others, and use compassionate understanding when viewing the world. Don’t dwell on negative thoughts and feelings that naturally surface on occasion; rather, focus on positive thoughts, relish good feelings, and enjoy even the simplest of pleasures in life. Also, choose love over fear whenever the opportunity arises. To help you with that endeavor, you can tune in to messages from those who are here to help. Listen to others who have risen to the challenges in life and attained success without compromising their ethics or principles. On a similar note, it’s best to avoid gossips, defeatists, haters, selfish people, or others spreading insecurity and doubt. Reduce your exposure to negative sources of media and entertainment and instead seek the good in life. In this world of polarities, you can find a wealth of love and joy; however, you’ll also be exposed to tremendous amounts of fear and ignorance. Strive to see through the illusions of fear and focus on the positive, no matter the situation. Also, deal with negativity and adversity in a concise, positive manner and then move on to more constructive pursuits. Such a mind-set is critical for success. The following synopsis outlines the critical points in contending with fear:

 

UNDERSTAND FEAR

1. Remember that most fear arises due to a lack of knowledge.

2. The ego will naturally generate invalid fear if left unchecked.

 

RECOGNIZE FEAR

1. Beware of negative thoughts or feelings from moment to moment.

2. Identify any threat that’s caused negative thoughts or emotions to arise.

 

MANAGE FEAR

1. Relax, adjust your posture, and breathe deeply and slowly.

2. Choose love over fear whenever the opportunity presents itself.
   * Interpret any perceived threat as a challenge.
   * Think positively, and keep things in perspective.

3. Simply do your best, and remember not to take life too seriously.
   * Identify your skills and actions that will help contend with the challenge.
   * Focus on the moment, then act swiftly and decisively to do what’s right.
   * Simply deal with negativity in a positive manner and then move on.